An Anarchists uplifting primer

Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 2

Two weeks since the evac-

Life began two weeks ago, before that, there was nothing. Now there is suddenly life. Dear diary, Im Samuel Dockery, and im scared shitless. If someone was to find this and read it, please keep that in mind. I would hate for you to interpret my words without thinking of that first. Im scared shitless. Every moment that passes, I think I'm going to die, every cigarette I smoke is going to be the last and every moment I smile, I think it's going to be the last one.

I'm so scared that my face feels like stone, and it's painful to move it. Stoneface, they should call me. I'm so fucking scared it's killing me. Beasts, spiders, super soldiers. Nature itsself has turned around, clenched it's buttcheeks and ripped our cock right off.

I don't know what happened and I'm scared shitless man. There's a few of us now atleast, so the loneliness doesn't get to me as much. Before these two weeks, when life began, I had never been in a serious fight, never shot anyone, never been this scared. Two days after the evac, I was enjoying myself, big man on the block, I was relishing the fact that it was only me and nature, think of it as a "into the wild" type situation. A week after I was scared shitless, now, I'm scared still, scared but alive.

And by god am I alive. Every moment is so fucking real now, close to the edge. Yesterday I was sitting on the roof at dawn, I hadn't slept for thirty hours, I hadn't washed for tripple that, hadn't eaten for about thirty hours either, but I was smiling. It's so fucking real. It feels like i've lived with a filter before my eyes, like something made sure I couldn't feel everything, but that also meant I couldn't get hurt. Now I get hurt, but I feel everything man.

I'm scared shitless, dear diary, but I'm loving every fucking moment of it.